College Roommate

You all know how there always seems to be one person in a group that keeps up with everyone else. Jackie is the one that always sent the Christmas card. Over the years, I watched her family grow because she would enclose those neat little school photos. You know the kind....the kids hate the way they looked but the mamas always thought that they were a perfect likeness.

Jackie and I roomed together for four years at Longwood College (now University) in Farmville, Virginia from 1970-1974. Indeed, it is unusual for two roommates to last that long. It seems that our relationship has lasted these thirty-five years. She came to see me today.

Over the years, I have enjoyed the cards, and then e-mail. I was on her e-mail list so that I, along with who-knows-how-many others, kept up with her two boys as they were growing up and going off to college. And then, sadly, the death of her husband from cancer. I never knew what to say to Jackie when her husband died. I don't even remember if I sent a card. I regret that I didn't go to her and share her grief. The lesson I learned from that immense regret is that you always go to see one who is suffering. I'm saying that now because I want people to come to see me when I am suffering. I don't want them to be afraid.

Jackie and I had lunch at Sunnyside Cafe in downtown Weaverville this afternoon. My son works there as a server (not a waiter as in the olden days), and I wanted him to meet her. He is a part of me that she never knew, and I wanted her to see how proud I am of him.

We talked ... and talked .... mostly about Roy's cancer and about my cancer. She was pleasantly surprised that I was not "skinny" (it's been a long time since anyone considered me skinny). She was expecting me to be an emaciated victim of cancer as her husband had been. I am blessed not to be skinny at this point in my life! I read today that the main cause of death for cancer patients is starvation.

Now that those thirty-five years are behind us, we can once again call ourselves friends. She knows that I will be there for her in her time of need, and I know that she will be there for me in my time of need. I apologized for not being there when Roy died, and she accepted what I said in a gracious way. The wall that I built between us is no longer there. Forgiveness does that.